January 17, 2025
Walking in my bedroom on the first Saturday of this year forced me to keep a promise I made to myself months earlier.
There were two boxes tucked in the corner that I had to conquer.
After the loss of David, I relocated to my hometown of Clinton.
Moving is usually not fun, but moving after loss can be almost debilitating. Packing and sorting through our belongings was an emotionally and logistically challenging task. I was incredibly grateful when my sister stepped in and generously offered her assistance, relieving me of a significant burden.
I reasoned that I would face the contents of the boxes, I just didn’t know when.
I set a date with myself and eventually stood face-to-face with the task I had been postponing.
As I removed the tape from the first box, I carefully picked up and examined one item after another. While looking at each item, I had to make a decision immediately, what would I keep and what would I let go?
Months ago, letting go would have looked like I was forcing my loved one from my heart and mind. As I look back on the initial days following his loss, I wanted to hold on to everything that reminded me of the life we once shared.
Over time, I have come to celebrate and find comfort in the beautiful memories we shared and moments we created together.
A few hours after sorting through the box’s contents, my son needed to replace batteries in one of my granddaughter’s toys. When he mentioned needing a screwdriver, I returned to the box of discarded items and retrieved David’s yellow and black one. As I placed it in LJ’s hands, a wave of memories washed over me. How many times had I watched David use this same tool to fix things around our home? Now here it was, about to bring smiles to our granddaughter’s face. The screwdriver wasn’t just something to discard—it still had purpose, just like the memories that came with it. Some things, I realized, could bridge the gap between my life with David and the new chapters God was writing.
My experience with these boxes helped remind me of the importance of trusting God’s timing. All those months ago, when I couldn’t bring myself to open them, He knew I wasn’t ready. He gave me the space and time I needed, waiting patiently as my heart began to heal. Only then could I look at these items and see them not as painful reminders, but as treasured pieces of a love story that changed me forever. God’s timing is always perfect, even when we don’t understand it. He knew exactly when I would be strong enough to open these boxes and find not just memories, but the courage to move forward while keeping David’s love safely in my heart.
Letting go of the physical reminders that were in the box, forced me to open my heart and ask God to show me other things that I need to release.
Love doesn’t reside in things—it lives in the heart, in memories, and in the ways we continue to honor those we’ve lost.
As I closed the empty boxes, I felt a gentle peace wash over me. This wasn’t an ending, but rather a new chapter in my journey of healing. David’s love remains a constant presence in my life, not through the objects we shared, but through the person I became because of him. In the past months, I have learned that you don’t move on from grief, you simply learn to move through it
Thank you for sharing this…I am in the process of going through things as I prepare to move. I understand the process and appreciate knowing that is just what it is; one process in the journey of grief (all types).
Dr. Peggie, thank you for sharing this. Moving and sorting through things can be such an emotional process, and grief can show up in many forms along the way. I’m glad this resonated with you and offered some encouragement as you navigate your own process. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this season—I’m praying for peace and strength as you move forward, one step at a time.
Thank you for sharing your journey. This definitely resonated with my spirit as I am still trying to navigate the passing of my mother almost 3 years ago. It took me over a year to go through her belongings. I had people tell me to “get rid” of her things immediately after her passing and in
their words, “move on”. I was angered at the outrage of people who still had their mother telling me to “get over” losing mine. If it had not been for God I don’t know where I’d be! Your transparency is inspiring and I appreciate (need) it.
Cinda,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I am so moved by your words and having experienced the loss of a parent, I have experienced anger during this journey as well. I will never say I know how you feel, but I do know that people can be very insensitive when it comes to people who are grieving. You have encouraged me to keep sharing, because there a times when I have doubts about putting my words out before others. God has used you to encourage my heart and I am so grateful. I will keep you in my prayers as God continues to give you the strength you need to keep moving forward!
BLESS 🙌🏾 YOU my Sister, and I pray that You continue to walk in HIS WILL! ! ! YOU ARE truly an inspiration to US ALL, and I applaud 👏🏾 You for allowing GOD to use You, and sharing your beautiful testimony with us ! ! ! To GOD 🙌🏾 BE THE GLORY! ! ! 🙏🏿😉✌🏿💖👍🏿🥰💯🙏🏿
Thank you so much for these beautiful and encouraging words! Your support means more than you know. You’re right – all glory goes to God, who gives us the strength to share our stories even when it’s difficult. Thank you for reminding me that being vulnerable can inspire others. Your kind spirit and faith shine through your message, and I’m grateful to have you as part of this community. May God continue to bless you as well! 🙏💕